I feel like im not good enough....These person i know for while now!  and this person means a whole lot to me! more the anything even all my manga & anime i got! O_O and i love my anime <3 LOL, but i would give it all up for this person, even when i talk to them i get butterflys (sounds stupid)

But problem is...i feel like im not good enough...i know its hard since we both live reallt far apart, still find im making stupidsilly mistakes over the internet talking to them, but i found talking over internet or text i can think before i say something but...i only met them couple times at anime cons and..well i made complet idiot of myself the first time!, i got nervouse and acting like idiot!, and i keep worrying about it and this was like year ago i keep panicing because i will be hopefuly seeing them agaain at this festival near where they live...i hope drag friend along so im not alone, and thye can keep me in check,..

I just feel...im not goos enough or i dont look goos enough...and im trying reallly hard to impress this person!...like trying improve my artwork so i can do this painting they asked me todo...or trying to really look better for them but...its hard when i keep thinking im fat or ugly =_= and my diet is annoying...its making me eat less and less because i worry so much...

I know i should talk to this person about how i feel...but i think i just got insecurity and lack confidence that gets in the way....

i just know ..that i should be my self around them but i just think im not the best...i mean this person is super smart! o_o and knows super aweosme stuff unlike me...and in the past some of her friend hated me ..what im kinda scared going near where she lives from what these people said couple years back....